Wait, a Mega Man Movie in the Works? Should we be Worried?
You’re damn right you should be, because Fox is the one behind it! Okay, I take that back. That is too quick of a judgment without the proper knowledge to back up that attack.
So far, we know that Chernin Entertainment— the people who worked on the Planet of the Apes movies— are involved. Sigh. Alright, I am going to look at this from a visual stand point. The visual effects in Planet of the Apes were amazing.
My inner geek is losing all of his hair thinking about 20th Century Fox touching one of my favorite franchises, but I’m trying to fight him. Video game movies aren’t all bad. Right? RIGHT?!”
Let me wipe away my tears.
What I am Afraid Fox might Do to Mega Man….Gross
Alright. Let’s play a game I like to call “What If We Had Control?”
In this game, we grab a genie bottle and wish to have full creative control over our favorite movies. How would I tackle this project? Who would write it? What should the casting be? These are all good questions. The plan is to make this imaginary movie a dream come true for all gamers.
The Story as we Know it:
Back in the late 80’s, Akira Kitamura and Keiji Inafune brought us a kid robot named Rockman. In the game, Rockman was invented in the year 20XX by a scientist named Doctor Light. Light wanted to make life easier for us and designed robots to help humanity. After an incident results in the loss of his first creation, Protoman, Light creates two sibling bots: “Rock” and his sister “Roll.”
With the success of Rock and Roll, Light went on to create six industrial robots with specific abilities. Among them, you have robots like Cut Man, a timber felling robot with deadly scissor blades; Flame Man, who was designed for waste management and is all about the fire; and Guts Man who is a construction bot.
Things take a turn for the worse as Light’s former colleague, Doctor Wily, steals the robot plans to create a vast and evil army— even turning Light’s other creations against him. Desperate times call for a hero, so Doctor Light transforms Rock into “Rockman”; the ultimate battle droid.
Rockman could shoot “solar bullets” from a canon in his arm, and could also take the powers of his enemies to utilize for his own means in tactical combat. This comes in handy when dealing with bosses in the game. When you obtain the abilities of the other androids, the boss of that level would be weak against it.
Once imported to the U.S., “Rockman” became “Mega Man.” (The change makes sense, because most of the robots are named for their abilities.) In Mega Man, the freedom of the world rests with your capable Mega Buster arm canon, your trusty dog Rush, and your sister Roll.
Don’t go Changing!
To paraphrase my good friend Prinn:
“R…U…SERIOUS?…CAPCOM YOU B***H! Them b****s are going into the hole, so they sold Mega Man out!”
You see that, Fox and Chernin? You have your story. If you plan to change anything, I would suggest making it more rough. When you think about it, Mega Man is like an animated version of The Terminator, except there is no time travel. (Okay, there is actually a time travel story in Mega Man, but we are not getting into that right now.)
I want to know what is so hard in following the base story? We can accept minor changes if it fits well with the story. By that, I do not mean at the end you make Dr. Wily have some weird revelation to become good again, like was done with Astro Boy. “Disappointing”
Don’t even think of making Roll Mega Man’s girlfriend—you sick bastards. You already have good material and are capable of keeping it interesting without adding nonsense that would not fit the story, or Americanize it too much. I would suggest having the fight choreography and visual effects done by the Wachowski’s. Their track record showing off action and future tech is amazing.”
Casting: AKA The Fun Part.
This is where things get tough. In all honesty, I would go fully animated with this movie.
In live action, the biggest problem is picking the right actors for each role. I would like an Asian cast on this one—at least for some characters— even though not all the characters look Asian. I also think cosplayers could play some of the roles. Some of the roles should also be played by women, because actresses like Tilda Swinton prove that women can play as both men and women damn well.
- Mega Man, the hero of this story, would be played by… I have no clue. This one is tough because you have to factor in age. Which look should we go for? I am thinking fourteen-year-to-15-year-old-looking Mega Man. Some might want an eight-to-eleven-year-old Mega Man.
- Doctor Wily has to be played by Christopher Lloyd. He knows how to play a villain too damn well, and he can definitely pull off the “crazy scientist” look.
- Doctor Light; I would pick Mark Addy. He was in A Knights Tale and The Full Monty. He has played a friendly-type person in many movies before. He also kind of looks like Doctor Light.
- Roll; I would definitely pick Miss Gidget, one of my favorite cosplayers, who has that cute factor and tough attitude as well. Can she act? I am pretty sure she can. Gidget, like a lot of cosplayers, is pretty good at conveying the spirit of the character.”
What do you guys think? Am I totally wrong? Who would you have cast instead?
Check Yourself, Fox!
So far, most of the information we have is rumour. Mega Man is a long-time fan-favorite, and I would not be surprised if there is a script in the works as I write this. Please do not give us another Dragon Ball Revolution, Super Mario Bros, or Astro Boy. We have had enough of bad video game movies— and it should not be hard to give us a functional one. All we can do now is wait, get mad, worry, and curse-out the creators, even though we don’t have much to go on. That is the civilized thing to do, right? Stay frosty!